Fireworks and Long Exposure Photographs

    Hello everyone, today is June 30th, which means yesterday it was my friend's birthday and also as well my brother's first day of summer too. Now you're probably thinking I don't really care and you'd likely be right. I just thought I'd put that out there to use as an excuse for my lack of blog posts. On the other hand, it means summer and lots of free time to do awesome things. Also, lots of movies come out in the summer and I'm sure some of them will be awesome. On the third hand though, the movie theatre in my town has one screen, is open seasonally and spells half the words on its signage incorrectly. What does that mean? Basically, it sucks, so in order to see decent quality movies I have to drive between 30 minutes to an hour away, but in all likelihood I will do that many times this summer. For example, I saw Super 8 on Saturday I think it was - I've seen a lot of movies recently - and it was awesome, so that's promising. It should be a good movie season with the last Harry Potter movie and a new Winnie the Pooh movie on the same day. I'm more excited for the Winnie the Pooh movie, but don't tell my brother.
    As mentioned above, it is June 30th, which means all of those things I mentioned before, but perhaps more relevant to this blog post it means that it is Canada Day soon. Since pretty much all my traffic comes from Canada, so I'm going to assume you know what that is. And since Canada Day = Fireworks I thought I'd enlighten you on the awesomeness of fireworks. Also while I'm on the topic of moving lights at night, I'll mention Long Exposure Photographs which are also sweet. Remember, becoming awesome is not a spectator sport, so get out there and start being awesome. Now's a great opportunity because finding fireworks to see on Canada Day should be easy, and lots of people have cameras, so just go take a picture of something. All right, let's do this. Lerrrooooyyy Jennkiiiinnns!

Fireworks

Level of Awesomeness: Explosive

What Is It: As you know, there is nothing I love more than the 4th of July, or as it is known in Canada the 1st of July. And that is because - other than the outrageous displays of patriotism - of the fireworks. They are so bright and vivid and scare small children and dogs (in much the same way as thunderstorms do). Fireworks come in two types: safe and horribly dangerous. Safe fireworks look like this and can be shaped like hearts and smiley faces.

    These are the types of fireworks that you want to show your kids because they have a much greater chance of not being injured severely than with the horribly dangerous type of fireworks. This second type can be illustrated both through anecdote and video. Once upon a time, at my birthday some time in the past - probably when I was like ten - we decided it would be a good idea to have fireworks at my party. But when the day came it was super windy and completely unsafe for setting off fireworks near a residential area. Needless to say I was distraught, and it was my birthday, so in order to not ruin a young child's birthday the decision was made to light the fireworks anyway. Soon we were at the beach setting off fireworks, and it was windy and a firework blew over while lit and shot like 8 bursts at a cottage about 20 feet away. The cottage did not burn down and all the small children at the party were unhurt, but a lesson was learned: try not to shoot fireworks at people or houses. Now here's a video of a different type of horribly dangerous firework.

Note: Do not set off fireworks with a blast radius greater than the distance to the ground.

Why Is It Awesome: Because fireworks are pretty when not used in dangerous ways that could lead to disfiguration and severe trauma. They also bring people together to marvel at the spectacle that is the fireworks display. Happy Canada Day Everyone!

Long Exposure Photographs

Level of Awesomeness: coooooooooooooooooooool

What Is It: When you take a picture the shutter on your camera opens and closes to capture light. If you leave the shutter open longer, you can capture more light. This is good at night for example because there is not very much light available or to give the impression of movement through the use of blur. When you combine long exposures with moving things such as waterfalls it creates a cool smoothing effect on the water.

    My personal favourite use of long exposures is taking pictures of moving lights at night. For example, cars

stars,

airplanes,

amusement parks,

and sparklers.

Why Is It Awesome: Look at them. They're awesome.

Pingu and Ultimate Frisbee

    Hello everyone, so I sort of failed at the whole posting more frequently thing since it's been like a week since I posted anything, and this time I have no excuse. I was just lazy and didn't post anything, also my awesomeness levels have been down recently. I might have to go to the doctor to get some tests or something :S At least I have an excuse for why I'm posting so late today. A tree branch fell on a power line in front of my house, so we had no power or Internet for a while, and I saw a worm in the driveway on my way back from seeing where the tree had fallen, so that was interesting and kept me occupied for several minutes. I still haven't decided what I'm going to talk about in terms of awesomeness in this post, so I'm just sort of rambling until I figure out what I want to write about. I guess since it's Wednesday I can talk about Ultimate, and unless you know that I play Ultimate on Wednesdays then that was probably an unexpected leap from days of the week to sports. Also, I will talk about Pingu because I knew I was going to talk about Pingu from the start because he/the show is awesome, but I had you tricked into believing I had no idea what I was going to talk about. Remember, becoming awesome is not a spectator sport, so get out there and start being awesome. Btw a good way to start being awesome is to tell people (for example, me) what you think is awesome.

Pingu

Level of Awesomeness: Penguincredible

What Is It: Pingu is a television show about a penguin whose name is Pingu (I think, it's kind of hard to tell by watching it). It's basically a sitcom that follows Pingu's life, but there are no words. Apparently the vocabulary of penguins is limited to honking, beeping and unintelligible sounds. Also, all the characters are made of clay. Sometimes Pingu meets up with his/her(?) friend(?) who is a seal and hijinks ensues. I first discovered Pingu as a child when I watched cartoons and whatnot and Pingu was on in between shows. I'll see if I can find an clip on YouTube to help you understand the epic awesomeness that is Pingu. Observe.

Why Is It Awesome: Because if you are a kid, then Pingu is entertaining. And if you are older, then Pingu is hilarious. And entertainment and hilarity value are both key components in awesomeness.

Ultimate

Level of Awesomeness: Ultimately Awesome

What Is It: Ultimate is a sport (yes a sport) played using a frisbee or disc as it is more awesomely known. The object of the game is to score points by catching the disc in the other team's end zone. It seems unnecessary to explain the complete rules of the game here, since it can probably be found easily elsewhere on the Internet, but it is fun and great exercise and looks awesome in montages. I'll post a video of some highlights that might inspire you to look into Ultimate further. Enjoy.

Why Is It Awesome: Because I think sports are awesome since I find many of them fun. And ultimate is a fun sport with awesome diving catches and sweet throws. What more would you want from a sport?

Otters and Fruit by the Foot

    Hello everyone, I figured I would write a post today because it's been four days since the last one, and before I started sucking for like two weeks I was posting about once every three days. Of course, that means I'm going to have to start thinking of awesome things more quickly, but hopefully that won't result in a drop off in quality. So, first thing's first, or second I guess since I took a while to get to this point, but if you'll remember from my last post I was going camping. I don't really feel like writing a ton about it because I'm super lazy as you can probably tell, but luckily one of the people I went camping with has a blog as well, and as it so happens she wrote a little bit about it. (Also, she gave a shout out to my blog in her post, so I feel like I should return the favour), so if you're interested in checking out a sweet blog (I assume less awesome than mine, but probably still cool) then click the link below.

ch3v.wordpress.com

    Second thing's third, that means it's time to start talking awesomeness. I've started to compile a list of awesome things, so I don't have to think too hard when I go to write a new post. If you want me to add something you think is awesome to that list you should tell me what that awesome thing is and if I think it sucks I will ignore you, BUT if I think it's awesome then...well it's awesome, so I guess I would write about it here because that is the whole point of this blog. Today's topics are otters and fruit by the foot. Try not to read too far into the pairings of topics in each post, I assure you it's purely coincidental (usually). Remember, becoming awesome is not a spectator sport, so get out there and start being awesome.

Otters

Level of Awesomeness: Adorable

What Is It:

Otters look like this:

And do things like this:

And this:

    In conclusion, otters are over-the-top adorable and can play basketball better than the Miami Heat. Also they can swim and spin and flip and eat sea urchins which look like a combination of a porcupine, a pincushion and a cactus.

Otters eat these just for the lolz

Why Is It Awesome: Because otters are better than us. They are cuter than us, play sports better than us and eat pointier food than us. May we all learn to be awesome by doing as the otter does.

Fruit by the Foot

Level of Awesomeness: One Foot, Two Foot, Red Foot, Blue Foot

What Is It:

Feet of fruit*!

Look at some fruit. Now look at your foot. Now imagine if the fruit was the size of your foot, maybe even bigger! Also spread out so it's about a millimeter thick (0.04" for all my American friends), and in a striplike shape (see picture), and possibly not made of any actual fruit. If my calculations are correct that would make for one awesome snack food. Well maybe not at my age when people start worrying about their health and well-being and not letting your teeth decay out of your mouth, but back in elementary school Fruit by the Foot was where it was at. Anyone who was anyone had a Fruit by the Foot in their lunch. I didn't because my mom cared about eating healthy and whatever, but that didn't stop me from idolizing the kids that did because having a Fruit by the Foot was so clearly awesome.

Why Is It Awesome: Because when you are a kid having candy is super awesome, and having candy for lunch at school is super-mega-awesome.

*May not contain actual fruit.

StumbleUpon and The Weather Network

    Hello everyone, I can actually say that now because it is possible that more than one person will read this. Now that I am so famous it's been hard for me to find time to think of awesome things, so I just put off writing this post for a while. In my first post, I asked for suggestions for awesome things to write about, so far I have only received one suggestion, and that was to write about my brother, but that was a suggestion I heard from my brother, so I will ignore it because he has nothing but terrible ideas. Besides, it would take much too long to write about than I have time to write. Also, I was at a symposium at my brother's school because I am so awesome that I go back to high school years after I have graduated to volunteer for stuff there. Furthermore, I am leaving to go camping in about an hour, so I'm sort of pressed for time, but I'll try to finish quickly. I guess I should stop making up excuses then and just get on with the post, so let's go. Today I will be talking about StumbleUpon, which will help you spend your whole life on the Internet, and The Weather Network, which is exactly what it sounds like. Remember, becoming awesome is not a spectator sport, so get out there and start being awesome.

StumbleUpon

Level of Awesomeness: Fall-on-your-face kind of awesome

What Is It: Like Kiva, StumbleUpon is a web-based service, but unlike Kiva it cannot help anyone and it will probably use up a lot of your time doing almost nothing, but it is still awesome. Do you like things on the Internet? Would you like someone to find more things that you like on the Internet for free, and give them to you without you having to do any work? Of course you would, you're not a crazy person are you? That is what StumbleUpon is for. You simply need to indicate your interests, and install the toolbar, then whenever you press the Stumble button you will be taken to awesome websites full of the things you like. Bored of doing research for that paper? Press the Stumble button, and receive instant gratification with gloriously awesome websites right before your eyes!

Why Is It Awesome: Weren't you listening? Awesome stuff, for free, instantly, you don't have to do any work. For example, I pressed my Stumble button and found this sweet picture of a cheetah painted on someone's hand.

Awesome cheetah hand

Without StumbleUpon I probably would have had to search the Internet for a fortnight before finding this. Actually, I probably would never have realized I wanted to look at animals painted on people's hands unless StumbleUpon had shown me. StumbleUpon: For finding all the awesome things online that you never knew you wanted to know about.

The Weather Network

Level of Awesomeness: Partly cloudy with periods of awesome

What Is It:

Weather!

The Weather Network tells you what the weather is like, what the weather was like and what the weather will be like. Being from Canada, about 90% of conversations I have are about the weather (eg. It sure is cold today, Why is it snowing so much, I wish it was warmer etc.) so having a one-stop shop for all things related to weather is awesome. The Weather Network can be found both on television and on the Internet, but it is much more awesome on TV because it has sweet music. Admittedly, the quality of music has gone down ever since they changed their background music like 3 years ago, because that song was amazing. But for a limited time only you can listen to it right here!

Why Is It Awesome: Because talking about the weather is always cool (no pun intended), and watching a TV show that is 100% weather is basically pure awesomeness.

P.S. Today is my birthday =)

Socially Awkward Penguin and Chips A'Hore

    Hello everyone, I've been gone all weekend, so that's why it has been so long since my last post. I was in Toronto for my grandma's birthday, so hopefully you'll understand. If not, all I can offer is my sincere apology so that will have to do for now. Also, I sat around and didn't write a blog post for a couple days after the weekend, and my Internet went out last light when the power went out, so it's probably been weeks since my last post. Today I'm going to talk about one of the awesomest memes online right now - Socially Awkward Penguin - and Chips A'Hore, which is a delicious snack I made at a bonfire on Thursday night. As I have said before, and will no doubt say again, remember becoming awesome is not a spectator sport, so get out there and start being awesome.

Socially Awkward Penguin

Level of Awesomeness: Thanks, you too.

What Is It:

The Socially Awkward Penguin is a meme whose native habitat is the Interwebz, and it is basically an archive of my life. It will actually probably save me a lot of time when I am inevitably asked to write an autobiography since I will just be able to put in a series of these memes because as you know a picture is worth a thousand words, so a meme that uses a picture must be worth at least 1,000 plus the number of words in the picture. So I should be able to write a memoir to rival the length of War & Peace. The Socially Awkward Penguin puts into writing all those horribly awkward social situations that we all find ourselves in all too often. In my case, it's basically every social situation. If you spend a lot of time on the Internet, which you do, then I think you might find some of these will relate to you as well. If not, you are lying. For shame. For more information, see this awesome site.

Why Is It Awesome: Because it makes you realize you aren't the only one who is completely inept when it comes to social interactions, and that realization can actually improve your own social skills because you know that person you're talking to is probably secretly just as awkward as you.

Chips A'Hore

Level of Awesome: Chiptastic

What Is It:

This is not a Chips A'Hore

Chips A'Hore is a name that I coined for a delicious s'more like treat last week when I was at a bonfire. As you will recall, I wrote about how awesome bonfires are in the past, and how you can use them to cook marshmallows. But did you know you can also combine your cooked marshmallow with other foods? For example, a marshmallow with graham crackers and chocolate is called a s'more. I have no idea why. Maybe because there is nothing that's'more awesome than them. Well I have found a thing that is more awesome, and it is a Chips A'Hore. I wish I had taken a picture, but all I could find on the internet was this picture from a Pillsbury recipe. The name Chips A'Hore is derived from the word Chips A'Hoy meaning a brand of delicious cookies and 'ore from the word s'more. Anyway, the Chips A'Hore is made by roasting a marshmallow and then sandwiching it between two Chips A'Hoy cookies. Also the cookies were Rainbow Chip, so they had multicoloured chocolate pieces in them, which is obviously awesome.

Why Is It Awesome: Because Chips A'Hore taste amazing, but if you eat too many you will get fat, so be careful. They are also made at bonfires, which are awesome (see Bonfires).

Pro Tip: Try combining any other food with roasted marshmallows and see how it tastes. I have tried them with Reese's peanut butter cups, Doritos, Oreos, and have even made savoury s'mores with Triscuits and cheese. I have yet to be disappointed when using this tactic, but don't be a fool. Nothing tastes good with vegetables, not even marshmallows.

Update: Giant marshmallows between Pop Tarts are also good.

Kiva and Kinder Surprises (sometimes)

    Hello everyone, it is a beautiful day and I'm going to a bonfire later (awesome), so this might be a short post. Then again, I might start rambling, and it could be longer. So it will either be a short post or a long post or somewhere in between. Also, I seem to be having trouble spelling/typing right now, so I apologize in advance for all forthcoming errors. Today I'll be talking about how awesome Kiva and Kinder Surprises (sometimes) are, and remember becoming awesome is not a spectator sport, so get out there and start being awesome.

Kiva

Level of Awesomeness: Unbe-kiva-ble

What Is It: This website -> www.kiva.org. Basically, Kiva is a website where you can make microloans starting from $25 to entrepreneurs in developing areas to help get their business going. The person who receives the loan invests it in their business and pays the loan back over time. Once the loan is fully repaid you will have all of your money back, and you can lend it to someone else. This process repeats as long as the person borrowing the money repays the loan (you can what regions have the best repayment rate before making your loan).

Why Is It Awesome: Because you get to make a positive difference in someone's life, which is always awesome, and help hard-working entrepreneurs to get their business up and running. In the end, you feel good, and feeling good is awesome.

Kinder Surprises (sometimes)

Level of Awesomeness: Bueno

What Is It:

"I'm a Kinder Surprise."

A Kinder Surprise is a chocolate egg that is white chocolate on the inside and milk chocolate on the outside (see picture). Also, it has a little plastic container with a toy inside. If you have never experienced the joy of opening a Kinder Surprise I suggest you go to the store and buy 3 dozen. I'll wait well you get them.

Now eat them. I'll wait.

Wasn't that a magical experience? Did you get some awesome new toys? Answers: yes and yes. After eating 36 consecutive Kinder Surprises you probably now know what one is in much more detail than I could ever describe in writing - I'm no Herman Melville - so I'll just let you fill in the rest of this definition with the slack-jawed amazement, mind-numbing happiness and shooting arm pain that you are probably now experiencing.

Why Is It Awesome: It's kind of like Kinder Surprise roulette because you never know if the toy you are going to get is going to be awesome like a kickass snowcapped mountain with helicopters and planes and shit flying around it like a boss or the crappiest excuse for a toy you have ever seen like a lame puzzle of stupid cows in a dumb field or a statue of a Smurf that you didn't even have to put together even though the only reason you opened the Kinder Surprise in the first place was to put together a sweet toy. It's the excitement of getting that one super-awesome toy that makes Kinder Surprises awesome. On the other hand, getting a sucky toy can ruin your day. That's why Kinder Surprises are sometimes awesome, but at least you get to eat the chocolate no matter what, so they're still sort of awesome because chocolate is awesome (I don't think I need to write a post about chocolate, its awesomeness is widely agreed upon).